I can still hear my baby crying: The ambiguous loss of American Indian/Alaska Native birthmothers.

This study captures the experiences of American Indian/Alaska Native birthmothers who lost a child to adoption and the impact of said loss on their health and wellbeing. Few studies examine the loss experiences of American Indian/Alaska Native birthmothers despite their increased probability to lose a child to foster care and adoption. American Indian/Alaska Native birthmothers are distinct from birthmothers of other races in their experiences of intergenerational and historical child loss, having disproportionately lost their children to systematic practices of child removal via boarding schools, the adoption era, and child welfare. Interview data from 8 American Indian/Alaska Native birthmothers were analyzed using inductive thematic analysis. Five themes emerged including: (1) the social context of losing a child to adoption for American Indian/Alaska Native birthmothers, (2) the ambiguous loss of a child to adoption, (3) grief reactions to the loss, (4) the impact of the loss on birthmother health and wellbeing, and (5) creating resiliency. Findings suggest that American Indian/Alaska Native birthmothers experience ambiguous loss, as well as elevated mental health problems and substance abuse following the loss of a child to adoption.