Life has given me suffering and desire - A study of older men's lives after the loss of their life partners.

Four themes emerged: reconciliation with one's lived life, living in the present with uncertainty about the future, a reorientation in life including new living conditions and living with the hope of finding a new life partner and feeling loved. We found that loss can lead to suffering in life. The life can be filled with loneliness, emptiness, life weariness and an absence of desire, hope and longing. Yet there is a vitality in suffering that enables to find new meaning contexts and desire for life. Here, the fundamental choice underpinning the movement between life suffering and desire for life is comprised of reconciliation with one's lived life, living in the present, daily habits and routines, being seen, participation, love and thoughtfulness.